she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
