So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
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