Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
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