she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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