update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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