I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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