I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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