i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
