You can't motorboat a personality
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Randomize
