You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
