I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
