I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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