I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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