Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
