Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
I'm always down for nudity.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Randomize
