you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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