i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
