Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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