We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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