He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
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