Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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