I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
