Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
