there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Randomize
