what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
