i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
