he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
that is very illegal...i love you.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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