I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Randomize
