my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
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