So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize