How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
