No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
