I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
