Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Randomize
