I just cut my nipple shaving
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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