Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
