Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize
