I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
