Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Randomize
