ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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