I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Randomize
