Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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