No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
