We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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