I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
