You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
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Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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