Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
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