we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize