problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
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