What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
i drank out of a bidet.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
