Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
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