I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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