i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Randomize
