For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
