I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I feel great
I just peed on a car
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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