His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
