I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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