I puked a lego.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Randomize
