I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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