Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
