12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
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