So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
how drunk are you?
Several
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Randomize
