the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
